Cast
Vocals: Pia Varma.
Guitars, BVs, keyboards etc:
Pete Griffin.
Backing vox: Pia Varma & Bella Dalton.
Additional tech support and ideas: Paul Bryant.
An iphone rings in Bristol
Daughter: Hi, Mum!
Dad: Uh, hi love, it’s Dad, it’s your Dad.
Daughter: Oh cr… crazy! Oh, hi Dad! How’s everything?
Dad: Great, great. Great. Sooo… you know you said “did I ever write a song for you”, well I sort of did…
Daughter: You did? Cool! What… err, what’s it called?
Dad: It’s, well, it’s… it’s this attached one.
Daughter: Oh, wild. Let me have … uhh… Jesus, Dad, what the fuck? This is called “Stupid Irritating Child”!
Dad: Yeah, but…
Daughter: “Stupid Irritating Child”! Nice. Oh yeah, I wrote a song about you actually; it’s called “stupid fat ugly balding old cheesy-smelling wanker”.
Dad: It’s not…
Daughter: …and I hope you like it!
Dad: It’s not, like, calling YOU a stupid irritating child…
Daughter: Oh, really? Of course not. Ex-cuuuuse ME!
Dad: Well, have a listen. It’s kind of the idea that everyone’s a stupid irritating child.
Daughter: OK I will bear that in mind, when I proudly tell my friends that Dad’s written a song about me. And when they eventually stop laughing.
Dad: Can’t say fairer than that.
Stupid Irritating ChiLd - LYRICS
So many words
So many questions
When I’m so tired
That I can’t see
If there are answers
Or explanations
I need a star to guide me
Out in the world
They may not love you
A sudden lull
A threat of snow
Stick out your thumb
But don’t be hasty
You’ll get where you need to go
You’re just a
Stupid irritating child
Running headless round the kitchen
Driving everybody wild, just a
Complicated kid
Just the same as me
So many hours
So many summers
So many chances
To save the day
If you could only bear
To drive more slowly
Some distant flame
might lead the way
And if you fall
At least you flew
Don’t go kicking the scenery
What you believe is true
(You’re just a)
Stupid irritating child
Running backwards round the garden
Driving everybody wild, just a
Complicated kid
But isn’t everybody
Stupid you, stupid me