Stupid Irritating Child

An iphone rings in Bristol
Daughter: Hi, Mum!
Dad: Uh, hi love, it’s Dad, it’s your Dad.
Daughter: Oh cr… crazy! Oh, hi Dad! How’s everything?
Dad: Great, great. Great. Sooo… you know you said “did I ever write a song for you”, well I sort of did…
Daughter: You did? Cool! What… err, what’s it called?
Dad: It’s, well, it’s… it’s this attached one.
Daughter: Oh, wild. Let me have … uhh… Jesus, Dad, what the fuck? This is called “Stupid Irritating Child”!
Dad: Yeah, but…
Daughter: “Stupid Irritating Child”! Nice. Oh yeah, I wrote a song about you actually; it’s called “stupid fat ugly balding old cheesy-smelling wanker”.
Dad: It’s not…
Daughter: …and I hope you like it!
Dad: It’s not, like, calling YOU a stupid irritating child…
Daughter: Oh, really? Of course not. Ex-cuuuuse ME!
Dad: Well, have a listen. It’s kind of the idea that everyone’s a stupid irritating child.
Daughter: OK I will bear that in mind, when I proudly tell my friends that Dad’s written a song about me. And when they eventually stop laughing.
Dad: Can’t say fairer than that.